How to treat attraction to same gender
Fatwa No: 313531

  • Fatwa Date:16-2-2016 - Jumaadaa Al-Oula 8, 1437
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Question

Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh. I am a younger man who experiences some attraction to the body parts of my own gender. I am hoping to solve this by marriage, Allaah willing. Praise be to Allaah, I have found a very sound girl and student of knowledge, and we are satisfied with one another. However, I fear that the trial that I have been tested with will become an obstacle if I marry her, both when having intimate relations as if she came to realise my issue, and then I would become a fitnah (tribulation) and hatred for her, and maybe she would even see it as betrayal and deceit. I would like your advise in this matter; wether I should marry (her) or not. I really want to complete half of my deen (religion), but as I said, I try to strive against my inclinations and sometimes that is very hard. The consequences of my attraction, who will not only affect me if I get married, scares me. I know that the people of prophet Lut (Lot) said to him, when he called them to marry his daughters if they must act, “He wants to be of the clean!” And when I tell this to myself, that a person who wants to purify himself should strive against this great temptation of his and seek the natural way that Allah created us by, it lights my heart a little bit. Nevertheless, I fear that it is still not enough. May Allaah reward you with good. Only put this on the website if you feel that there would be a benefit in doing so, otherwise I would prefer it if you did not do so.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His Slave and Messenger.

Our advice to you is to hasten to marry this girl or another; verily, marriage is the best solution for such evil inclinations that you experience, which is attraction to your own gender. You must conceal your condition and not inform anyone of it, whether it is your future wife or anyone else. Announcing such unnatural urges is a sin in itself and leads the person to carry on with them rather than seek a remedy. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 94253 and 81962.

If you sincerely turn to Allaah, resolving to find a remedy for these inclinations, then Allaah shall aid you and grant you what you aspire to; He says (what means): {And when the matter (of fighting) was determined, if they had been true to Allaah, it would have been better for them.} [Quran 47:21] The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said to one of the Companions in battle: "If you are true to Allaah, He will be true to you (i.e. He will fulfill your wish)." Shortly after that this man was martyred and the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) remarked: "He was true to Allaah, so Allaah was true to him." [An-Nasaa'i]

You should also strive in repelling the whispers of Satan. Indeed, Satan is devising evil schemes to lead you astray and instill fear in your heart so as to prevent you from turning to your Lord. Hence, you should tease Satan by every permissible means including reciting supplications like the one stated in the following hadeeth frequently: ʻAbdullaah ibn Masʻood  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him reported that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) used to say: "Allaahumma inni as'aluka Al-Huda wa At-Tuqa wa Al-ʻAfaafa wa Al-Ghina (O Allaah! I ask You for guidance, piety, chastity and self-sufficiency)." [Muslim]

You should also keenly perform acts of obedience so as to attain refinement of the soul and illuminate your heart and accordingly you can avoid sins which saddens Satan. It was narrated on the authority of Abu Hurayrah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "When the son of Aadam (Adam) recites a verse entailing performing prostration of recitation and prostrates, Satan withdraws weeping, saying: 'Woe to him! The son of Aadam was commanded to prostrate and he prostrated, and Paradise will be his; I was commanded to prostrate and I refused, so I am doomed to Hellfire." [Muslim] The version reported by Abu Kurayb reads, "Woe unto me, the son of Aadam was commanded to prostrate, and he prostrated and Paradise was entitled to him, and I was commanded to prostrate, but I refused and am doomed to Hellfire.."

If a mere prostration before Allaah causes Satan to say so and teases him that much, what then would performing acts of obedience and striving to adhere to steadfastness on the straight path in general do to him? Also, you should keep the company of good and pious people and avoid the company of evil doers.

Allaah Knows best.

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